Well, at least I know my gag reflex still works...

Well, here I am, onto a new leg of the journey. I am no longer in my old hometown - Ellefeld. This morning at the ungodly hour of 9:05am :) I took a train to the infamous Schwarzwald (Black Forest) of Germany where my mom’s family (aka. my aunt and uncle) lives. I was surprised how quickly the week and a half in Ellefeld went by. I was just busy the whole time and I’m so glad I ended up going there earlier than I had originally intended, because that was barely enough time to see all the “important” people as it was. It was really hard to say goodbye already...here's some extra pics: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=69362&l=27d46&id=573967603

Funny though. I really thought I was going to get away without having to eat the traditional Vogtland dish: Rolladen and Grüne Klöße. Let's see...how can I put this nicely …I HATE GRÜNE KLÖßE. That is literally the mildest reaction I can give to these slime balls. Literally.

Ok ok, the actual translation is “green …” um, I’m actually not sure if there is an English word for ‘Klöße’. I'm sure you'll inform me, mom. Well, anyways, they are balls of mashed up pretty much raw potatoes that somehow mysteriously take on this sickly green colour. And they are SLIMY. Now, you need to understand, I am usually a friend of the slimy stuff. I only eat brown meat because it’s slimier than white meat. I enjoy eating sardines and canned fish. The more mayo you put in/on things the better. But these things are too much even for me. So anywho, Grüne Klöße are the traditional Sunday meal in the Vogtland region where I grew up and I have despised them with all my heart since the time I first laid eyes on them. So when I found out that they were to be served this Sunday I wasn’t particularly surprised, however I had begun to hope that they might just be forgotten. Silly me. Really, I must be a moron. Alas, my reintroduction to my old German life would naturally not be complete until one of these nasty nasty balls, whose origin I am convinced can be traced directly to the fall of man in the Garden of Eden, had been ceremoniously and squishily plopped onto my plate. Now, I tend to be very culturally aware and polite, so I bravely poured a giant heap of ketchup onto the side of my plate. That tends to be my answer to foods that I dislike: smother in ketchup and swallow small bites whole. (For those of you who have served me meals that I have eaten with ketchup: I would just like to calm your fears and cover my own butt by stating that I also eat large amounts of ketchup with meals that I LIKE. So just because I bury your homemade meals in ketchup doesn’t mean I think your cooking is horrendous. :) ) Now, seeing as how these Grüne Klöße are so disgustingly slimy it really shouldn’t be a problem to swallow the pieces whole.

So I was served one of the Grüne Klöße, took a forkful, dunked it all in ketchup and swallowed without chewing …it’s an impressive skill I acquired out of necessity, by the way; ever since I was a little kid I couldn’t stand the taste/texture of basically any kind of cooked vegetable, hence the need to swallow large chunks of food whole…other than corn. Food of the gods. So this piece of slimy raw potato slid down just fine but oh it was so gross. Actually as nasty as I remember. I mean, I honestly went into this whole experience thinking “maybe I’ll like it now. I’ve changed my mind about other foods before…this could actually be better than I remember.” Um, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I ate tons and tons of rabbit meat between each forkful and when I was about ¾ done that hideous green mess/Satan’s most evil joke on mankind I thought, “I can’t do this. I can’t.” But then I was like, “um, hello Julia, you’re 21 years old. PULL YOURSELF FREAKING TOGETHER.” That kind of pep talk actually usually works. Surprising, I know. So I courageously foraged ahead and cut off another piece, coated it in ketchup and swallowed. However, this one didn’t go down so smoothly. It ever so slightly initiated my notoriously difficult-to-rouse gag reflex, which I thankfully managed to hide from my hosts. At that moment I knew that nothing else in the general realm of green and slimy would go down. Fortunately I could play the “I’m full” card seeing as how I had eaten almost the whole thing plus the giantest rabbit leg you’ve ever seen in an unsuccessful attempt to coax my taste buds into ignorant submission and my esophagus into obedient peristalsis. And for those of you sitting at home, happily eating whatever it is YOU decide to cook, secretly thinking to yourselves that I’m such a wimp, I’m going to go on the internet and find a picture of Grüne Klöße that appropriately depicts my feelings toward them.

really they should look much greener...

So that was my latest experience with the nastiest food known to mankind. I’m sure more will follow over the next year. Can one build up an immunity to this kind of thing? Or maybe some kind of shot I can get at the doctor's?…I should look into this…

P.S. Mom and dad you are not allowed to tell anyone in Ellefeld about this...

To end today’s blog (Already, you say? I know! It’s a short one, hey? I can hear your groans now as I’m convinced you’ve probably just gotten into your comfiest pyjamas, found a warm blanket, and sat down with a lovely cup of very very very Irish coffee to spend the next several light years reading my blog. Heavily medicated even, I suspect. I’m assuming that vast amounts of alcohol and T3s are typically necessary BUT NOT TODAY. Quickly, drive…wait, maybe have an ambulance pick you up…to get your stomach pumped. You can still salvage your day!) … Now that you’ve forgotten the beginning half-sentence of this paragraph I’ll start it over. To end today’s blog I just want to quickly mention a quick fact with which most likely only the female juliahoolia-readers will truly empathize. One of my new pairs of jeans totally became my #1. There are few feelings more satisfying than realizing several days after you’ve just invested in another could-go-either-way denim procurement (and I pretty much wear jeans every day) that they are absolutely and in every way PERFECT. They’re my ode-to-the-70s pair with wide legs that are apparently making a major comeback and I've been wearing them for four days straight. See mom, you shoulda kept all your old clothes!!!