Zombie..

..no, not the Cranberries song. So, as I just wrote about this morning, my Death Egg is gone, but as of this afternoon my eyes are leaking some kind of freaky discharge and I fear that I now feature a striking resemblance to Pete Doherty after a major cocaine binge. I seriously look like I just walked off the set of a Resident Evil movie... I would show you a picture, but as I mentioned a few days ago, I'll probably be playing with my grand children before this archaic piece of crud managed to upload anything. How many more flu symptoms could I possibly exhibit before this thing gives up the ghost???

Ok, vision is beginning to blur to the point of not being able to read my own post. I need to go drain my flipping eyes. How much more disgusting can this week get? Well, my only comfort is that I'm making you share in the repulsiveness with my vividly picturesque witticisms...and trust me, this is the PG version. I had some wicked descriptions in mind, so be grateful that I'm sparing you...

No eggs please...

Status of my throat at 4am...yes, I actually woke up because swallowing was so painful: Felt like I had tried to swallow an egg whole...more like an ostrich egg....or possibly dinosaur...but it got stuck half-way down. That is, an egg that I had first covered in crazy glue and then rolled around in a vat full of sharp objects...you know, like pins & needles, screws, glass shards, freshly sharpened pencil tips, shark's teeth... the usual. And after swallowing said Death Egg someone with a pair of brass knuckles came along and decided to punch me in the throat several dozen times.

Status of my throat upon awakening: Egg had swollen to twice the size and pointy, sharp INANIMATE objects had somehow reproduced and multiplied. Thought life was going to end on creaky bed at relatives' house in Black Forest, while wearing the ugliest pajama combination known to man, surrounded by half-empty glasses of water, cough candy wrappers, and used kleenex.

Had intermittent coughing spasm during breakfast

Current status of throat: Death Egg has passed through due to previously mentioned hack-fest. Possibly on its way to terrorize further internal organs. In any case, I can now swallow without wanting to slit open my own throat for relief.

New Years Eve might be alright after all!

Sorry if you get a little queasy when you read this one...

Hello Hello. Hope you all had a good Christmas. Mine was great. During the five years that I lived in Germany with my family we always spent Christmas with my aunt, uncle, and cousins here in Öschelbronn, so it was really great to kind of relive those days this Christmas. All the stress, bickering, and disagreeing on EVERYTHING. I totally forgot how much I missed that. LOL! Seriously, no one can fight like my German relatives. I just sit there with a goofy grin on my face, recalling all the wonderful old memories. :D But I also laughed harder than I have in probably 4 months that night. Seriously, me and my cousins were cackling so hard it hurt. The only true difference being that this year I got to PARTAKE in the best part...or parts...those being the champagne, wine, and schnaps toasts... Hoorah for being of age. ... Did I really just write 'hoorah'? Oh geez.
So I took pics at Christmas but seeing as how my only Internet option here is DIAL-UP (the sacrifices I go through just to stay in touch with ya'll) there is NO FLIPPING WAY I'm going to be uploading them til I get back to my apartment after New Year's. Sorry. :P
Um, so what else? Oh ya, I got SICK on Boxing Day. All of my relatives had the freaking bubonic plague (I have no idea how to spell that and I'm too lazy to look it up...) and I thought I could fight it off. I always think that. And then I get it right when I think I'm safe. So I spent the day on the couch with a fever, hot-cold chills, a headache, and that awful flu-ey achey feeling all over my body. Not. Cool. I always get sick at Christmas. Always. But usually my body has the decency to only allow the common cold to take over my immune system...not the flipping flu. Grrrr. I will make my body PAY! No chocolate for a month! ... or a day or so...
Anyways, I slept for over 10 hours that night and I'm happy to report that I'm feeling much better. Now I'm just blowing what I'm certain would be the world record amount of mucous out of my face and coughing up all internal organs. Thankfully those two symptoms seem to be tag-teaming it so at least my body hasn't completely betrayed me. Mutiny.
Now that you're all completely disgusted...
Since I was feeling much better yesterday (as in I was no longer convinced that I had one foot in the grave...) I went to the movies with my aunt and cousin. 'Willkommen bei den Scht'ies' which is a French film. Holy mother it was funny! If it gets translated into English make sure you watch it. European films are flipping amazing, by the way. What's with the world's obssession with crappy American brainless humour? I mean, there wasn't one sex joke in the entire movie we watched yesterday but I was still laughing my butt off. American comedies seem to think that sex jokes = funny, aka. the more pervy stuff you can stuff into 96 minutes (which, sadly enough, seems to represent the North American attention span), the more money you'll make off your film. Stupid concept. Unfortunately film audiences only serve to confirm this idea, as those movies really do seem to become the 'big hits'. I mean, I enjoy a good Ben Stiller flick as much as the next person, but seriously...Anyways, enough ranting.
*cough attack followed by nose-blowing marathon*
Ok, well, I think that's all I've got for today. My brain feels like it's all over the place. Possibly cuz it's slowly but steadily emptying out of all facial orifices. Ok, I'm officially disgusting.
In case I don't get around to blogging again by New Year's, which is quite probable, as my patience seems to be seeping out of my body with all the phlegm (I can't stop with the disgusting bodily fluids jokes! must...quit...blogging....soon...) and the next time I try to connect to the Internet I might end up chucking this relic from the Mesozoic era out the window before it gets there, I want to wish you all a Happy New Year! Just think..it'll be 2009....and I'm coming home in 2009! Crazy!
Much love.
Jule.
xoxo
*coughing spasm*

Momentary Chocolate Guilt, Banana Hatred, and Gay Playmobile Sketches

Long title. But a good one, if I do say so myself.

So I'm in Aalen right now, at my cousin, Carina's. I took the train Saturday morning. An uneventful trip. On the last train this cool old lady sat down next to me. I was eating these weird but DELICIOUS chocolate-whip cream balls that were part of my Christmas gift from my landlords and I offered one to the lady. She was like "I especially didn't bring anything "bad" with me so I wouldn't be tempted to eat it...but maybe just one. Have to think about the figure, right?" I looked down at the package of chocolate-whip cream balls...half of which I had just inhaled in about 2 minutes....the other half which I was planning on devouring in the following 2 minutes. I mean, it was already a stretch that I was offering to sacrifice one for someone else! Well, I buried my guilt feelings in about 0.0000001 seconds. I had no lunch, so I was slightly ravenous and it was already 2pm. Screw it. It was yummy.
But the funny part came when the old lady made me eat a banana. Let me just remind everyone who might have forgotten...or not known this in the first place...but I hate bananas. It's not the taste. They just have the grossest texture! Anyways, I didn't have the guts to contradict her, so I ate the whole thing. It took me about 15 minutes, but I choked it down.

And last night I went to my first musical comedy show in Stuttgart! It was the 25th anniversary of this little German comedy group called Die Kleine Tierschau (The Little Animal Show) and my cousins, Carina and Jasmin, got me a ticket for Christmas cuz they were planning to go with some friends and they thought I'd enjoy it. Let's just say it's a good thing I sort of "grew up" with my mom's dialect, Schwäbisch, during the 5 years in Germany, cuz otherwise I might not have understood much. lol. But it was super fun! Man, those guys can play every freaking instrument, they sang in 3 part harmony the whole time, and they had some of the funniest sketches I've ever seen. They dressed up as gay playmobile figures (they looked EXACTLY like lifesized playmobile...), an indian, a police man, and an ADAC worker (kind of like the German equivalent of the CAA) and did one of the funniest sketches I've ever seen in my life. They held their hands in that weird, curved, open-handed way like playmobile figures, they moved like them...everything...and did the YMCA song/dance as gay playmobile figures. Frick, it was HILARIOUS! ... I guess you had to be there. Anyways, I have officially been to a live comedy show, which was cool. It was about time. :P Awesome Christmas present!
Ok, well I gotta get going. We're leaving for Öschelbronn this afternoon and I have to get ready. Ciao!

Jule

I can't think of a title for this one....

So it's 6:46am, Saturday morning, and in 1.5 hours I will be leaving for Christmas holidays. So blogging might be spastic and irregular. And the phone's unplugged, so if there's some kind of weird German message when you try to call because you forgot that I said that I'm not home for Christmas, that's why... Hope that made sense. In case I don't get another chance: have a very Merry Christmas and, as the Germans say, a good "slide" into the New Year.

Woo! No school for two weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love Jule
xoxoxo

Da hab ich so 'en Hals gekriegt....

Over the past several weeks I have discovered something very amusing. At least I find it amusing: Every German knows George Michael's "Last Christmas". And every German loves it. Come on...that's funny!!!

On to the real subject for today.

"...Und da hab ich so 'en Hals gekriegt..." Directly translated: "...And then I got such a throat..." This is a German phrase that basically means "I got really pissed off" or "I almost blew a gasket". And while you're saying that lovely German phrase you kind of make a grabbing motion at your neck, like it's getting thicker. It really suits so many situations perfectly. Especially in the teacher-world. :P You know what may be one of the most frustrating things about being a teacher? I mean, I'll have to test this out over the next 10 years or so, but one of the aspects I've found most trying is the fact that you may be standing in front of a class of 25 but only 20 are listening. 1 is half asleep, 2 are playing footsie, another is staring out the window, and the fifth is glaring at you for chaining them to the desk (metaphorically speaking, of course...Germans may be different, but not THAT different...), as if that might make me sink into the ground and melt away. Basically, there are always a few that would just rather be anywhere else than in your class - even if it meant spending the day on a tiny volcano ledge with bubbling, gurgling molten lava swirling around their feet...while dressed in 5 layers of thermal underwear and an ankle-length winter parka...which has hot water bottles in its pockets. And the reason this is so frustrating is that you spent 4 hours or more preparing the lesson that just doesn't seem to be entering their tiny little brains from any direction. I mean, pardon me for studying for 6 years, spending approximately $30,000 along the way, and trying to teach you all the things you're going to need to know in the next...oh, say... 60 or 70 years.
I mean, I understand that Christmas holidays are 2 days away and the kids just want to be done. But for goodness' sakes, THEY JUST HAD TWO WHOLE FLIPPIN WEEKS OF "AUTUMN HOLIDAYS" IN OCTOBER. How can they possibly NEED another 2 weeks? Canadian students have to slug through from September til December! And then German students get another two weeks in February ("winter holidays") plus a week and a half in April for Easter (as far as I know Jesus was only dead for three days...).

Anyways, I'm getting sidetracked...

I mean, I'm sure I have been that student. The one sitting there looking like she'd rather be dealing with a heart attack than the cross-pollination of Canada's native vegetation. But it's just so strange to be on the other side of things. And there was no "gradual crossing-over". One minute I was giving the boredom signals and the next I was receiving them. I mean, I have to say, my experiences have all been very positive. Most of the kids are great and attentive...they can be major pains in the ass...but I still enjoy them and their eagerness. But sometimes I just can't stop looking at that one kid whose head is drooping just above the handout I spent an hour piecing together...FOR THEM...NOT FOR ME...FOR THEM!

Sometimes I think it really would be better if our lives were reversed. If we started out as old people and ended up babies. That way, at the school stage, we might respect our teachers and value the wisdom and knowledge they have to share. But how can you really expect a child to understand that once they come out the other end of the educational system there are going to be a whole lot of things they'll wish they had paid attention to...a whole lot of things they'll wish they had participated in....a whole lot of things they'll wish they hadn't done to their teachers :P? How do you explain to them that one day they'll understand why their teachers are the way they are? I mean, obviously children are supposed to learn about the importance of respect, hard work, and diligence from their parents, which I think is severely lacking in many households in this day and age...I mean, I see the consequences of this every day now. But my parents raised me to understand and live out all of those concepts...yet I still never really understood what teachers go through day in and day out. Their work never ends, they have parents yelling at them for absolutely bulls*** reasons, the kids often don't care and like to see how many times per class they can mouth off and disrupt the lesson, and the teachers are given no "weapons" with which to defend themselves. Heck, in many schools in Canada you can't even FAIL a child anymore! That means we're going to have even more high school graduates than before who can't read, spell, do long division, or tell you the capital city of their own country.

*Letting out long breath*

Sorry, I had to get that off of my chest. Now I don't want you to think I'm doubting my desire to teach. I still love being here. Yesterday evening was the school Christmas concert and it was fun to see the kids (from gr. 5 - 12) excited and anxious, tentatively searching their teachers' eyes for approval...they would never admit it, but most students really do desperately want their teachers' approval. To have those that know me say hi and give me a nervous smile. And today we had a Christmas party with the grade 6 class at a bowling alley, where the girls swarmed around me to ask me where I got my rings and how many siblings I have and what my favourite music is...heck, I was even first to be picked on a bowling team :P HAHAHA. (and we won every game, by the way!!!). And while the kids were rowdy and crazy and the boys are in that AWFUL pre-pubescent stage where everything is slightly perverted and they apparently "want to get a closer look at me"... direct quote ...ew... they still get that shy look in their eyes when I talk directly to them and they all shook my hand to say "Tschüß Frau Hiebert und Frohe Weihnachten..."
I know that teaching is still the only thing I want to do with my life. I know that it'll be hard. I've always known that. I know I will get frustrated, exhausted, and probably even angry on a regular basis. It doesn't change the fact that I still love it. :D Thank goodness! And thankfully I don't build my personal self-confidence and sense of accomplishment on the opinions of 12 year olds... :P I will just keep reminding myself: I'm not here to be their friend. I'm here to help THEM become all they can be...even if they just don't comprehend that right now. And I'll do whatever it takes. Even if that means unpacking the whip every so often (...again, metaphorically speaking...)

I don't feel older...

Question: Do I look older?

Hm. Probably not. Nor do I, as my blog title says, feel older. But 22 sounds cool. So I'll stick with that for a bout 364 more days. :)

First of all a GIANT thank you to everyone who wrote cards, emailed, facebooked, called, sent letters, or gifts. I have to say, I wasn't exactly sure what this birthday would be like. I mean, away from home, by myself...that could end up being a pretty dismal birthday. Kind of like my 20th where about 20 of us spent the night at the hospital after my friend got into a car accident on the way to my birthday bash. lol. But actually this turned out to be one of the best birthdays I've had in years!

On Friday I took the bus to Leipzig where I met up with two of my very best friends, Claudia and Daniela. We hung out at the Christmas Market, ate many many many "gebrannte Mandeln" (roasted almonds with this sugary coating that really only tastes right in Germany), I found a gift for someone in Canada but I'm not saying who. I figure I have to bring so many people presents in June I may as well get started now... Um, what else? Oh ya! We stumbled into a Cuban restaurant where we had my birthday supper! It was so cool. We really had no idea what it was til we sat down at the bar and looked at the menu. Very very cool place. And kinda neat to have a menu that doesn't have french fries or burgers on the menu! lol. I had this amazing roast chicken and rice with sweet onions and it was HEAVEN! Plus I swear it was the first time I've had chicken since I left Canada. Honestly. I miss chicken...I'm gonna have to buy some chicken legs when I get back from Christmas holidays.... Hmmmm...Thanks for the idea, mom! I want to move to Cuba after Germany. And naturally our drinks had rum ...and then some more rum ... in them. I mean...come on...CUBA. Dani and Claudi also gave me my birthday present there. It's a "Schwippbogen" of the Frauenkirche in Dresden. So beautiful. And they are the traditional window Christmas decorations, so it's just perfect. My mom has a few of them, but I don't have my own. I was beyond thrilled. Then more Christmas market, a quick Starbucks run...cuz Starbucks' are scarce in this country. Gingerbread Latte. How many different ways can you say YUMMY?

Then we took the train back to my place, smoked a birthday cigarello on the way from the train station to my apartment... btw, apparently I am offically the negative influence, the rotten apple, the bad seed, the black sheep...as I have now "ruined" both Daniela and Claudia. This was Claudia's second cigarello...although you wouldn't know it from this picture where she's hacking away after some smoke made it down the wrong tube...but she had her first cigarello with me, too, so I still corrupted her. And it was Daniela's very first time with a cancer stick between her fingers.

**Just a general note: I don't smoke...I'm just a special occasion kind of smoker...

Plus Claudia still can't believe I have a tattoo. I told her that if anyone at church finds out she had a smoke with me she can just tell them about my tattoo and all attention would officially be off her... LOL! Ya, so we eventually made it to my place where we just watched a movie and crashed. And guess what folks? I even turned on the heaters for the occasion!!! I mean, come on, when I have guests I don't let them freeze. :) It was so strange to walk into a WARM room in my apartment! :P

Saturday morning lazily came around and we pigged out on breakfast. I basically hauled out all edible items in my apartment. And I didn't even do too badly, if I do say so myself - I even made eggs. Frick I am resourceful! Plus Dani had brought along mini-bottles of creme liqueur, which went STRAIGHT into our wake-up-cappucinos. Everything's allowed on your birthday. Well, it wasn't technically my birthday yet, but whatevs. We kind of coined it the birthweekend, seeing as how I really did celebrate all weekend. (Aren't you glad it wasn't a "birthweekend" in the truest sense of the word, mom :P ???)

Anyways, Claudia had to leave just before lunch so Dani and I walked her down to the train station and then went on a Döner hunt. Success! And tasty, too! Then we just bummed around all day. Did some grocery shopping, watched The Truman Show, cooked supper. Oh, and I ate the most incredible fruit that I'd never even heard of before. Dani told me I had to try it so we went out and bought a POMELO. At least, I think that's how it's spelled. Either way, it's soooooo gooooood. It kinda tastes like a cross between a grapefruit and a lemon. Which doesn't sound very good, now that I think about it. But it's not sour like a lemon. I can't describe it. Just try one. They're pretty huge fruits. Like, maybe 3 or 4 grapefruits put together. Just make sure you peel off ALL the skin...the skin is wicked bitter.


Sunday morning Daniela took the train to her boyfriend's and I was picked up by Konny and spent the day with her family. It was fun. I met her daughter, Katharina, for the first time. She's my age and is studying medicine. It was actually really nice. We get along super well and just talked all day. :)We spent the afternoon/evening in Wittenberg (you know, the city where Martin Luther did his whole 95 theses speel...which you can see on the door in the following pic). What a gorgeous city! I mean, I remembered loving it as a kid, but wow is it beautiful at Christmas!
And then Monday was my actual birthday. I spent two hours at the hairdresser (Happy Birthday to me!), finally got around to checking out the video rental store.... (only took me 3.5 months...) and he even let me rent a movie for free cuz it was my bday! lol. I mean, it's not like I was wandering around Eilenburg telling people it was my bday in hopes of getting random free stuff. I became a member at the video rental store and he needed my birthdate for some unexplained reason. When I said "December 15" he kind of paused and then looked at a calendar and was all like "That's today...". We've got a live one folks. No wait, scratch that ... he's a genius!


Um, then I got a buttload of mail and presents that I was only allowed to open until actual 15th. I mean, people even wrote it on the envelopes! Mostly the German friends. They're such sticklers out here. ESPECIALLY when it comes to birthdays. I mean, several were practically horrified that I was celebrating 2 ENTIRE DAYS BEFORE the 15th! Hold the freakng phone. SCANDALOUS! Call the Feds. Julia is about to commit a flipping birthday felony. Who says I'm not a rebel... ??? So while I'm not exactly the most patient person in the world I actually managed to not open presents until the 15th. Can I get a 'woot woot' for self-control??? I know I know... I am a shining beacon of hope in a corrupt world.


So ya... that was my weekend. Again, all the incredible birthday wishes were amazing. Yay for the Facebook reminders, hey? :P :P


Today I did my Christmas lesson twice more for the gr. 5s. Again, they all clapped when I sang. LOL! And I HAVE A COLD! Haha. I'm freaking Celine Dion. Booya. And then I made my gr. 11s watch "Little Miss Sunshine". Basically it's the last week before Christmas: I didn't feel like teaching and they didn't feel like learning. So when this feeling creeps in I just make them watch my taste in movies in English... heck, it's mildly educational...I mean, the movie was all about communication, which is still our topic in class... works for me!

:D

Seeing Stars

I was just thinking the other day about my blog. More specifically about the name "Seeing Stars". Now usually I have the hardest time thinking up names for things. I mean, I used to spend hours trying to come up with cool new e-mail addresses. Those were the days when you didn't just use some form of your first and last names/initials. Those were the junior/high school days when I picked names like postcard27 or crazyempire7 or vballgurl700. Oh lordy.


Anyways, when I finally decided to break my vow to never ever start a blog, I began dreading the thought of searching for a blog name. But to my surprise it came almost immediately. See, the quote that you see under the title "Seeing Stars" by Ralph Waldo Emerson has been one of my absolutely favourites since my gr. 12 year when I read it in my day planner (you know, one of those inspirational day planners that has quotes and motivational mini-speeches to spur on the lazy student...). In fact, it was my grad quote in the 2004 yearbook. "When it is dark enough men will see the stars." Those words grabbed me the very first time I read them and they have the same effect on me today. Sometimes life looks so dismal and you can't see that light at the end of the tunnel that's always supposed to be there. Your flashlight is broken and the overhead light in your car is burned out. There are no candles, matches, flares, sparklers, or lighters in your immediate vicinity. Maybe it's just a bad day, a bad week. Maybe it's just exam period, or your boss is being a jerk, or the kids are behaving particularly snotty. Maybe it's something that just doesn't seem like that big of a deal to everyone on the outside. But it doesn't change how it affects YOU. Do you have moments like this? I do. But this quote always reminds me to look up. Cuz when it is dark, I can see the stars...provided it's not cloudy, but that's not the point...



HOWEVER the title to my blog also has another meaning and since I wasn't sure if anyone other than me, obviously, really caught onto this double meaning, I have decided to share it with you. :D You know those cartoons you used to watch on Saturday mornings? The GOOD ones? Like the Bugs Bunny and Tweety show and Loony Toons... (none of this Japanese animation crap that the kids are obsessed with today...)? And when an anvil falls on their heads or they get hit by a giant plank of wood or whatever else, they always see stars. Sometimes life feels like it just drove over your body with a giant yellow school bus...stuffed full of annoying little school children :P Sometimes you feel like you're seeing stars. Little piece of advice from me to you: Just enjoy those stars. They're the best part of being hit by life's proverbial buses.

I like repetition

I listened to "Failing the Rorschach Test" by the Matthew Good Band on repeat all day yesterday. I think I just might have a new favourite song... I mean, technically it's an old song, but I've only owned the CD for about a month, so it's new to me...

Hey alice
i'm caving in
i know it's not allowed
but sometimes i fantasize
i'm peeling off my skin
enough to fill it up again
hey rabbit
into the pavement
i'm caving in

mother told me to be something
so i'm afraid enough to stay wide awake

hey rabbit
i came to win
i know it's not allowed
but sometimes you might find
it feels like nothing is
and it's everything you've been
hey alice
into the pavement
i'm caving in

mother told me to be something
so i'm afraid enough to stay wide awake

this ain't real baby, i've got a better excuse for myself
i'm always here.

Pat yourself on the back...

So I'm teaching a class on what is in MY humble opinion Canada's greatest invention. :) THE ZIPPER. Yes, fellow canucks, you have a serious reason to be flippin' proud of our country. I mean, we won't mention the fact that the dude who actually invented it immigrated to Canada from Sweden. Whatevs. Doesn't matter - Canada pretty much consists of immigrants. We claim him as our own! :P Anyways, thanks goes out to Mr. Trottier who taught us in gr. 11 French that the zipper was Canadian.


Anywho, although I immediately knew I wanted to do the zipper when I read my "assignment" for the week :P I decided to check out what else Canadians could puff out their chests and fluff their proverbial feathers for. Here is a small sample of my faves. Enjoy!

In no particular order:

-Actar 911 CPR Dummy - cuz we just like dummies...we're a friendly folk

-antigravity suit - cuz we REFUSE to keep our feet on the ground. BOOYAH!

- basketball - I remember learning about that in Ms. Happychuk's class from one of those retarded Cdn Moments commercials. Oh good times.

- the dental mirror - HECK YES! WE OBVIOUSLY RULE

- five pin bowling - I don't know why I think this one is so funny. it just is.

- the green garbage bag - I've read this in a couple different places. Has Canada come up with so few inventions that we have to include a GREEN GARBAGE BAG on our list? frick...

- ginger ale - my sis will love that one! :)

- green ink - what's with us and green???

- IMAX - cuz we like things BIG and LIFELIKE

- instant potato flakes - sounds disgusting but heck, who cares? we invented it!

- insulin - WOOO! SOMETHING USEFUL!

- the jolly jumper - i think we can be proud of that one. i've spent many minutes of my life laughing at hilarious babies in those things. including my own nephew. frick that was funny!

- lacrosse - apparently we like to invent games. we got nothin' better to do up in the great white north. :)

- Nursing Mother Breast Pads - Just had to include that. Trying to see if I can make any boys uncomfortable...

- Pictionary - this is actually a good one. I love this game. Mainly cuz I SUCK hardcore at drawing...

- pizza telephone computer delivery services - I'm not sure if I get what this is, but it sounds cool and it involves pizza, so YEP, I'M PROUD

- retractable beer carton handle - what the heck is this? and again, how does something like this make it onto a list of INVENTIONS????

- rollerskates - oh ya baby! The 70s rocked out in short skirts and rollerskates cuz of Canada!!!

- snowblower - no explanation necessary...

- standard time - seems like something we should be proud of...

- Trivial Pursuit - ANOTHER FREAKING GAME. wow. we must be one competetive country

- electronic music synthesizer - so we basically also made the 80s happen...

-walkie-talkie - I just like this one cuz it always makes me think of Brian Regan's comedy bit about walkie-talkies...

-the combine! - heck yes! go Cdn farmers!!

- electron microscope - cuz we can be SMART too!

-the paint roller - um. cool. ... that's all i've got

- the caulking gun - now i KNOW my dad is proud of that one. who doesn't love to caulk???

- the bloody caesar - cuz we appreciate alcoholic beverages and felt the need to contribute...?? couldn't we have come up with something tastier???

- washing machine - heck yes! we may play dirty, but we like to clean up after. :P who says Canadians are all rednecks??? :D

Okey doke. That's all for today. I spent hours on my invention lesson and then another 4 hours correcting gr. 11 exams. I'm shot.

P.S. I'm not including telephones on my list cuz I have a general dislike for them. But still, good on us!

Santa Claus is comin to town

First of all, I hate to admit this, but I think Mark is right. I think you’re supposed to spell "clutz" with a ‘k’. Shoot. I’ve been spelling it wrong for the past…forever. Dang it. Ok, so I’m a klutz, not a clutz…Either way I’ve got bruises to prove it. Whether they’re klutzy bruises or clutzy bruises, they still hurt… :)

Ok, now that that’s over with. So the weekend was a good time. I took the train out to Ellefeld again cuz it was "Teeabend" weekend in our old church. Teeabend (translation: tea evening) is an annual event that takes place on the Saturday before the second Advent. It’s basically just for fun and "fellowship" (I HATE that word. It think it sounds really silly….) with friends and whatever. We sing songs, people do skits and sketches, young, cute, and extremely nervous kids play instruments and all us adults go "awwwwwwwwww". Oh, and you drink tea and eat little German cookies. But this year they also had these little dough ball things. Basically like timbits. But not. Dang yummy. Anyways, I’ve been in Ellefeld so much in the past two months but I couldn’t miss Teeabend. Lol.

On Friday night we were just good Germans and watched a very exciting soccer game on TV. I actually watched the whole thing without picking up my VOGUE, which was lying ready right beside me. Impressive, hey?

And on Sunday a bunch of us ‘youth’ from church wanted to go skating. So we drove to Schönheide. And the rink was closed. So we drove to Eibenstock. To mini-golf. Now I’m not usually the biggest fan of said "sport", but heck, there were 9 of us, so it promised to at least be silly. And I’m an expert at silly. Good times.

Here are some links with pics for those of you who don't have Facebook: (The first two albums are "old" so you’ll have to skip whatever you’ve seen…)
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=81672&l=4b7d7&id=573967603
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=85163&l=65128&id=573967603
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=87784&l=58635&id=573967603

Oh, and today I sang "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" akapella for the grade 5s. They were so dang cute. Heck, they clapped for me. Of course I'd think they're cute, right? lol. And I have to do my Christmas lesson about 6 or 7 more times next week. So I'm gonna be a frigging expert at this song.
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Ok, so I just finished doing my devotions and guess what I just read in 1. Cor. 7? "But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this." See? Paul agrees with me! ... Ok ok, I know you have to take all of this in context, aka. read the preceding and following verses etc. plus the whole "it's better to marry than to burn with passion" bit. And I'm sure my dad and Jordan will explain the hidden meaning that I didn't get or whatever. But I couldn't help but smile when this happened to come along in my devos mere days after my marriage rant... :)

I've been waiting...

Hia folks.

So funny thing. Remember that ridiculously long rant about marriage from last week? Which, by the way, broke all talk back records. Thank you to all who wrote (a) comment(s). And feel free to write more if you think of anything else. (Crystal and Jordan, I responded to your last comments if you're interested...) I really do appreciate your viewpoints. I mean, in the end I'm the one who has to deal with my marriage issues :P (how can a single girl have marriage issues, you ask? well, i'm one twisted individual...), but still, your thoughts have given me tons to think about. I definitely admire those of you who have already or are getting ready to take that step of faith. I really honestly hope I make it to that point one day. (And if ANY of you say "you just have to meet the right guy" I might have to hurt you...when I get back.) LOL.


Ok, back to the first sentence: So funny thing. There's this google ad thing on the side of my blog that sends "crawlers" out on my page and collects information from it to find suitable ads to run on the side. So things that should "apply" to my blog posts. And today when I checked my blog the ad said "Marriage problems? Fix your Marriage overnight!" BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Maybe I don't need your help after all...the Internet solves all! Well, at least something funny came from last Thursday's downer post...



On to a COMPLETELY different subject. AND SOME VERY IMPORTANT NEWS THAT I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!

HUGH JACKMAN WAS NAMED 2008'S SEXIEST MAN ALIVE.

All I have to say is IT WAS ABOUT FREAKING TIME! He's been the sexiest man alive for the past 10 years already! Holy frigging cow people. How blind our world is. I mean, seriously...Matt Damon last year? Did anyone see that pic of him on the cover of People when he was declared the It-Man of the year? He looked like he'd just smoked a joint, shot up, snorted, and sniffed every narcotic known to man, and not slept for about a week.

Seriously. What is our world coming to?

Now we just need to make sure Gerard Butler gets 2009. Then all shall be right with the world.



I'll post about the weekend tomorrow. Need to first download the gazillion pics I took. Man it's a good thing I have Mondays off. Otherwise I'd never get anything done. lol.

Don't worry, I also just finished working on my lesson plans for four hours. :) I'm well aware of the whole "work before play" concept.... :P :P

I believe I can fly

So on Tuesday I flew! I REALLY FLEW! Down a whole flight of stairs! LOL.



Like, we all know that I'm a major clutz, but this was an exceptional moment...even for me! I mean, it's been at least 4 or 5 years since my last staircase incident. lol.



Well, at least no one was around to see me fall. Now all I have to worry about is explaining my bruises with the least embarrassing version possible...

The pics really don't do my bruises justice. They're actually giant yellow and blue splotches. I spent 10 minutes with my pants off, trying to get good pics, but it just wouldn't work. This is the best I could do. You should see the bruise on my knee! It's insane! But no pic turned out...

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...Nope, there's no way to spin a 'falling down the stairs' story at 22 years of age into an unembarrassing pity-moment. It's just funny. You all have my permission to laugh hysterically.
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Plus try working out every day with a complaining hip, very angry knees, and one pissed off calf muscle!
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Have a good weekend!

My Great Growing Skepticism

My skepticism has been growing. Steadily. Over several years. And unfortunately it hasn’t stopped…or even slowed. How long til the skepticism turns into complete "unfaith"?
So now you’re wondering what I’m talking about. Simple. It’s marriage. For some of you who know me quite well, you already know about my skepticism. Let me just tell you from the outset: I don’t WANT to be skeptical about this. I wish I could believe in the institution of marriage the way I did when I was a little girl. No, I never dreamt of wearing a pretty pink dress full of tool and other scratchy materials. I never dreamt of some hunk riding up on a white horse to rescue me from a wart-covered witch. But I definitely always thought I would someday get married. It never occurred to me that some people DIDN’T get married. But over the past several years I’m starting to wonder whether it really is such a good idea. Sometimes I feel like the Runaway Bride...except I wouldn't even make it to the walk down the aisle. (Julia Roberts wins. ) Mainly cuz it scares the living **** out of me. And do you wanna know why? Because I have seen too many marriages and long-term relationships around me either take a serious nose-dive from which they almost didn’t recover or they failed and shattered. Leaving brokenness everywhere. Leaving brokenness in me. In the past 2 months I have found out that 3 marriages of people I know are over. One of the couples is quite young, the other two couples have been married for over 20 years. The latter 2 marriages fell apart because the hubbies decided to go grazing elsewhere. I just found out about the third one yesterday and it seems to be the straw that broke the camel’s back. I just can’t keep my frustration and disappointment to myself any longer.

I’m tired of trying to figure out what it is that makes some marriages work and others fall apart, leaving mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted shells of human beings in its wake. Every time some hope builds up in my heart I turn around and another relationship takes a tumble as I watch helplessly, morphing my fragile trust into a twisted heap of broken defeat.
Now, it’s not like I don’t have plenty of examples of good marriages around me. Amongst my family and friends I really have no shortage of happy couples displaying the "pros of marriage" in an obvious and tangible way. But it just doesn’t negate my other experiences. I can’t forget the faces of the people who have told me about their failed marriages. I can’t forget the trembling voices or the tears spilling over red-rimmed eyes onto hollowed-out cheeks. And I find myself asking: Is it worth the risk? I mean, ya, maybe I'’ll find a good guy. Someone who’ll love me and take care of me until the gong show’s over and one of us bites the dust. But how do I know for sure? Every single one of the couples that I have witnessed fall apart has at some point believed the very same thing. They said the same vows. And probably even meant them on that day. At some point all three of the men in the couples I talked about earlier told their girlfriends/fiancées/wives some variation of "I will love you forever. I will never leave you." And again, they most likely meant it. But they didn’t do the first and they did do the second.
And what about all those shining examples I have around me, you ask? Well, first of all, I find myself constantly asking: Are these marriages actually what they appear to be? The majority of relationships that I have seen break up looked just peachy to me the week before. How do I know what is actually going on in the marriages that surround me? Most people are experts at keeping things to themselves. Especially when it’s about something as painful and perhaps embarrassing as a failed relationship. How do I know that the seemingly elatedly in-love couples around me aren’t actually a façade of fading fireworks and lost hopes?
Now let me just be clear on something. I am not a risk-taker. Never have been, never will be. This whole deal here in Germany was the ‘riskiest’ thing I’ve ever done. I don’t like "unknowns" and everything about moving here for a year was a giant neon-blinking sign screaming "Unknown! Risk! UNKNOWN! RISK!" But I knew I had to do it or I’d regret it forever.
Now don’t get me wrong. I know that we need to take risks in life. It helps us grow and makes us stronger. Heck, this year in Germany was the best decision I could have made. Still doesn’t change the fact that I despise risks. So this leads me – a severe risk’o’phobe – to the inevitable question: IS MARRIAGE WORTH IT? I need to know that the pros outweigh the cons. (I’m a list freak and this habit reaches into ALL areas of my life….) I mean, of course I could get lucky (not in the pervy way you sick freaks). I could marry an awesome guy and live happily ever after…I mean, I know every marriage has its issues, but obviously some more than others. But on the other hand I could take this risk, jump in with both feet …. And end up having my heart trampled, stomped on, crumpled into a ball, chewed up, and spit back out.
Basically it comes down to this: There is no guarantee and I HATE THAT. There’s no receipt, no cash-back or exchange within 14 days. (Unfortunately) a relationship requires the work and input of 2 people. 2. It doesn’t matter if I decide that I’m never gonna cheat or get a divorce. If he one day decides to take off with his new chica with a better set of legs or softer hair or whatever it is men leave their wives for, I have no control. Zip. Zero. He can do what he bloody well pleases. How scary is that?
So if I never marry I could be missing out on something great. Or I could be saving myself a whole lotta pain and heartache. But how do you decide which is more important?
I know that many of you are probably happily married. Some even fairly newly-wed. :) You are probably feeling the urge to write and tell me it’s worth it and it’s lovely and there’s nothing better than finding that ‘special someone’ (btw, I hate that phrase…). But saying that won’t convince me, my dear concerned friends. The people I know whose marriages fell apart would have said the same thing 10, 5, or even just 1 year ago. I’m simply so unsure. And unfortunately it’s not a puzzle or an algebraic equation to be balanced. Basically, the only way you can convince me that your marriage worked enough to last is if you die still married… sorry. Lol.

And if Brad and Jenn couldn’t last, can anyone???

Ok, that was my Hollywood attempt at lightening an otherwise VERY heavy topic. :) Didn’t mean to get so depressing, but broken people aren’t exactly a subject I can liken to green meadows and bleating wooly lambs.

Let’s just say it’ll take one heck of a guy to convince me he’s worth the risk. Let’s just hope I’m ‘one heck enough’ of a girl to convince him likewise – cuz I can imagine I’m not the only one in this marriage-devouring world with thoughts like these…

The Skeptic is signing off. For today.

Still in the land of the living...

Wow, I think this was my longest blogging absence since I started this thing! Sorry about the lengthy interruption. I took a spontaneous trip west this weekend. See, my cousin, Carina, and her husband, Klaus, were supposed to come out here to Eilenburg for the weekend with their 3 year old son, Loris. But Cari called me late Thursday evening to tell me that Klaus had caught a bad cold and they wanted to know if I would be able to come out to visit them instead, seeing as how I obviously didn’t have anything else planned for the weekend. They even bought my train ticket! So how could I refuse? A weekend with family in a GORGEOUS apartment (my cousin is an architect and 100% perfectionist with fabulous taste in everything), that promised to be heated to boot! Heck yes, I went. So I had to hastily pack my stuff together Thursday night and took off right after school on Friday.

My trip to Aalen was 6.5 hours on trains packed beyond capacity due to a recent train part recall that has put dozens of InterCitys out of commission… but I managed to snag a seat on all three trains and the 6.5 hrs were so totally worth it. I arrived in a winter wonderland at 9pm Friday night and was welcomed with a little apartment all to myself (they own this huge house and the downstairs apartment in empty) and a mini-feast of hawaiian toast. Like, the non-fake-cheese-cheap-ham sort. Like I said…Cari’s a perfectionist. :) Yum.
So on Saturday Carina and I drove to Ulm for the day.
Home of the tallest church tower in the world.

We only got to climb up 392 steps of it due to the upper stairs being "dangerously slippery" (pah. I laugh in the face of ‘dangerously slippery’. They’ve obviously never driven on a Manitoban road in November… Unfortunately they still wouldn’t let me climb farther…) But let’s just say the 392 steps were…enough. Lol. Then we checked out the Weihnachtsmarkt (aka. Christmas market….these markets are ridiculously important in Germany. Very traditional. Pretty much every city has some sort of Christmas market, whether big or small) and shopped for the afternoon. Carina mentioned earlier that morning that she wanted to check out the KitchenAid kitchen machine cuz she wanted one for Christmas. Well, when we walked into Abt (a giant appliance store) there was a huge KitchenAid kitchen machine presentation and sale going on. So needless to say we walked outta there with a new KitchenAid. :) Carina was so excited her cheeks were flaming red all day! Lol. (We immediately made a cake with it the next day, naturally. Tasty tasty.) I, on the other hand, used my food budget for this week to buy myself the cutest faded navy shirt dress from an OOBER-high-end store where you feel like everyone is staring at your shabby normal-person-attire in judgmental snobbery. even the bag they put my dress in had a zipper! Obviously a snooty store. However I got my dress for a steal of a deal…35 euros! Woo! I just couldn’t help it. I tried to walk away…I really did. But then I figured I had enough food in the house for the next two weeks so the food-moolah went to the dress. Lol. I wore it today with leggings and boots, horrifying every German within a 25 mile radius due to my 'basically nude' state. I mean, my sleeves only went to my elbows! And I wasn’t wearing proper thick pants! I would surely freeze in this –2 cold spell we’re having! Let me just say I was toasty warm all day, even on my bikeride to and from school. Toasty. We Canadians are made of tough stuff, baby. Heck, I wear leggings, boots, and shirtdresses in Manitoban winters. Geez.
On Sunday Carina, Klaus, Loris, and I went on an "Ausflug" to Dinkelsbühl. Dinkelsbühl. Dinkelsbühl. Nope, doesn’t matter how many times I say it. I still think it’s flippin’ hilarious. I mean, seriously? How do you say that name without smiling? Not physically possible, I swear. Anyways, it’s this absolutely PICTURESQUE little German city. Every building was just adorable and everything was newly restored. Plus none of the stores in the city are allowed to have lit signs so it’s all super old-school and cool. The Christmas market there was CRAZY busy. Of course…Sunday. Germans don’t do anything but go to Christmas markets on the weekends from December til January. Lol.
And then on Monday Carina and I dropped Loris off at kindergarten and had brunch at this café in Aalen called "Samocca". It’s a really great concept. Most of the employees there are mentally handicapped. They bring you a piece of paper with the whole menu on it, you mark what you would like to order and giveit back to your server. It’s just a really cool way of getting them "into society". So many mentally challenged adults are stuck working off in some little factory or whatever and I just think this concept is so clever! I mean, it’s work they’re entirely capable of and they get to interact with just people in general. Very cool.
And then came my 6 hour train ride home. 2 interesting things. First of all, I was reading my book when this lady walked past and I could have sworn I saw a dog’s tail wagging behind her. But then I was like, "You’re crazy, Julia. There’s no way they would allow dogs on the train. Although dogs seem to be allowed almost everywhere in Germany, from stores to restaurants, there’s no way they would be allowed on a train! I mean, it’s raining outside! Dogs smelling like wet…ness are not usually welcomed in tight, compact spaces. Plus people have allergies. And others have severe phobias. Heck, I know a few people with dog phobias. Nope, there’s just no way. I must have imagined it." And promptly as I came to this conclusion the lady walked past in the opposite direction. With a giant black dog in tow. SERIOUSLY? I mean, I am an AVID dog lover. They're my favourite animal and I cried for 3 days straight when I had to put Maxime down last fall. But even I think it’s disgusting when people bring their dogs into clothing stores (I mean, HELLO! DOG HAIR!), restaurants (I mean, HELLO! DOG HAIR!) and especially trains. Honestly, how can Germans of all the peoples in the world allow this? North Americans are usually so much more relaxed and carefree. Germans are the efficient tighta**** with a law for everything against everything. (Again, I'm allowed to say this cuz I'm German...) So you’re not allowed to wash your own car in your own driveway, but you’re allowed to bring your dog into the ice cream parlour so it can lick a scoop of gourmet vanilla crème out of a special dish that will probably be used for the next HUMAN customer…DOES THIS MAKE SENSE? I think not…
And second crazy thing. I was just sitting in my seat on the train from Nürnberg to Leipzig, listening to my iPod, minding my own business, when the song suddenly ended and for approximately 10 seconds there was simply silence as my iPod took its sweet ole time selecting the next track. And that’s when I faintly heard Rihanna’s croaky "Umbrell-a-a-a-a-a" to the right of me. You know how you can hear other people’s music when they have their headphones turned up too loud? Well, that’s what I was hearing. Now why is this significant enough to blog about you might ask? BECAUSE THE PERSON SITTING NEXT TO ME…AKA. THE SOURCE OF THE UMBRELLA-A-A-A-…WAS THIS PRIM AND PROPER MIDDLE-AGED DUDE (WEARING FAR TOO MUCH COLOGNE)!!!!!!!!!! And his head was bobbing along slightly to the spastic poppy vocals. I’ll admit it. I almost lost it. I quickly coughed awkwardly into my hand as I realized I was about to start laughing out loud. And immediately turned up my music.
Then I walked home (20 min) from the train station in the pouring rain.

THE END.

for Pics: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=86607&l=41911&id=573967603

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=86619&l=39e8f&id=573967603