Zombie..

..no, not the Cranberries song. So, as I just wrote about this morning, my Death Egg is gone, but as of this afternoon my eyes are leaking some kind of freaky discharge and I fear that I now feature a striking resemblance to Pete Doherty after a major cocaine binge. I seriously look like I just walked off the set of a Resident Evil movie... I would show you a picture, but as I mentioned a few days ago, I'll probably be playing with my grand children before this archaic piece of crud managed to upload anything. How many more flu symptoms could I possibly exhibit before this thing gives up the ghost???

Ok, vision is beginning to blur to the point of not being able to read my own post. I need to go drain my flipping eyes. How much more disgusting can this week get? Well, my only comfort is that I'm making you share in the repulsiveness with my vividly picturesque witticisms...and trust me, this is the PG version. I had some wicked descriptions in mind, so be grateful that I'm sparing you...

No eggs please...

Status of my throat at 4am...yes, I actually woke up because swallowing was so painful: Felt like I had tried to swallow an egg whole...more like an ostrich egg....or possibly dinosaur...but it got stuck half-way down. That is, an egg that I had first covered in crazy glue and then rolled around in a vat full of sharp objects...you know, like pins & needles, screws, glass shards, freshly sharpened pencil tips, shark's teeth... the usual. And after swallowing said Death Egg someone with a pair of brass knuckles came along and decided to punch me in the throat several dozen times.

Status of my throat upon awakening: Egg had swollen to twice the size and pointy, sharp INANIMATE objects had somehow reproduced and multiplied. Thought life was going to end on creaky bed at relatives' house in Black Forest, while wearing the ugliest pajama combination known to man, surrounded by half-empty glasses of water, cough candy wrappers, and used kleenex.

Had intermittent coughing spasm during breakfast

Current status of throat: Death Egg has passed through due to previously mentioned hack-fest. Possibly on its way to terrorize further internal organs. In any case, I can now swallow without wanting to slit open my own throat for relief.

New Years Eve might be alright after all!

Sorry if you get a little queasy when you read this one...

Hello Hello. Hope you all had a good Christmas. Mine was great. During the five years that I lived in Germany with my family we always spent Christmas with my aunt, uncle, and cousins here in Öschelbronn, so it was really great to kind of relive those days this Christmas. All the stress, bickering, and disagreeing on EVERYTHING. I totally forgot how much I missed that. LOL! Seriously, no one can fight like my German relatives. I just sit there with a goofy grin on my face, recalling all the wonderful old memories. :D But I also laughed harder than I have in probably 4 months that night. Seriously, me and my cousins were cackling so hard it hurt. The only true difference being that this year I got to PARTAKE in the best part...or parts...those being the champagne, wine, and schnaps toasts... Hoorah for being of age. ... Did I really just write 'hoorah'? Oh geez.
So I took pics at Christmas but seeing as how my only Internet option here is DIAL-UP (the sacrifices I go through just to stay in touch with ya'll) there is NO FLIPPING WAY I'm going to be uploading them til I get back to my apartment after New Year's. Sorry. :P
Um, so what else? Oh ya, I got SICK on Boxing Day. All of my relatives had the freaking bubonic plague (I have no idea how to spell that and I'm too lazy to look it up...) and I thought I could fight it off. I always think that. And then I get it right when I think I'm safe. So I spent the day on the couch with a fever, hot-cold chills, a headache, and that awful flu-ey achey feeling all over my body. Not. Cool. I always get sick at Christmas. Always. But usually my body has the decency to only allow the common cold to take over my immune system...not the flipping flu. Grrrr. I will make my body PAY! No chocolate for a month! ... or a day or so...
Anyways, I slept for over 10 hours that night and I'm happy to report that I'm feeling much better. Now I'm just blowing what I'm certain would be the world record amount of mucous out of my face and coughing up all internal organs. Thankfully those two symptoms seem to be tag-teaming it so at least my body hasn't completely betrayed me. Mutiny.
Now that you're all completely disgusted...
Since I was feeling much better yesterday (as in I was no longer convinced that I had one foot in the grave...) I went to the movies with my aunt and cousin. 'Willkommen bei den Scht'ies' which is a French film. Holy mother it was funny! If it gets translated into English make sure you watch it. European films are flipping amazing, by the way. What's with the world's obssession with crappy American brainless humour? I mean, there wasn't one sex joke in the entire movie we watched yesterday but I was still laughing my butt off. American comedies seem to think that sex jokes = funny, aka. the more pervy stuff you can stuff into 96 minutes (which, sadly enough, seems to represent the North American attention span), the more money you'll make off your film. Stupid concept. Unfortunately film audiences only serve to confirm this idea, as those movies really do seem to become the 'big hits'. I mean, I enjoy a good Ben Stiller flick as much as the next person, but seriously...Anyways, enough ranting.
*cough attack followed by nose-blowing marathon*
Ok, well, I think that's all I've got for today. My brain feels like it's all over the place. Possibly cuz it's slowly but steadily emptying out of all facial orifices. Ok, I'm officially disgusting.
In case I don't get around to blogging again by New Year's, which is quite probable, as my patience seems to be seeping out of my body with all the phlegm (I can't stop with the disgusting bodily fluids jokes! must...quit...blogging....soon...) and the next time I try to connect to the Internet I might end up chucking this relic from the Mesozoic era out the window before it gets there, I want to wish you all a Happy New Year! Just think..it'll be 2009....and I'm coming home in 2009! Crazy!
Much love.
Jule.
xoxo
*coughing spasm*

Momentary Chocolate Guilt, Banana Hatred, and Gay Playmobile Sketches

Long title. But a good one, if I do say so myself.

So I'm in Aalen right now, at my cousin, Carina's. I took the train Saturday morning. An uneventful trip. On the last train this cool old lady sat down next to me. I was eating these weird but DELICIOUS chocolate-whip cream balls that were part of my Christmas gift from my landlords and I offered one to the lady. She was like "I especially didn't bring anything "bad" with me so I wouldn't be tempted to eat it...but maybe just one. Have to think about the figure, right?" I looked down at the package of chocolate-whip cream balls...half of which I had just inhaled in about 2 minutes....the other half which I was planning on devouring in the following 2 minutes. I mean, it was already a stretch that I was offering to sacrifice one for someone else! Well, I buried my guilt feelings in about 0.0000001 seconds. I had no lunch, so I was slightly ravenous and it was already 2pm. Screw it. It was yummy.
But the funny part came when the old lady made me eat a banana. Let me just remind everyone who might have forgotten...or not known this in the first place...but I hate bananas. It's not the taste. They just have the grossest texture! Anyways, I didn't have the guts to contradict her, so I ate the whole thing. It took me about 15 minutes, but I choked it down.

And last night I went to my first musical comedy show in Stuttgart! It was the 25th anniversary of this little German comedy group called Die Kleine Tierschau (The Little Animal Show) and my cousins, Carina and Jasmin, got me a ticket for Christmas cuz they were planning to go with some friends and they thought I'd enjoy it. Let's just say it's a good thing I sort of "grew up" with my mom's dialect, Schwäbisch, during the 5 years in Germany, cuz otherwise I might not have understood much. lol. But it was super fun! Man, those guys can play every freaking instrument, they sang in 3 part harmony the whole time, and they had some of the funniest sketches I've ever seen. They dressed up as gay playmobile figures (they looked EXACTLY like lifesized playmobile...), an indian, a police man, and an ADAC worker (kind of like the German equivalent of the CAA) and did one of the funniest sketches I've ever seen in my life. They held their hands in that weird, curved, open-handed way like playmobile figures, they moved like them...everything...and did the YMCA song/dance as gay playmobile figures. Frick, it was HILARIOUS! ... I guess you had to be there. Anyways, I have officially been to a live comedy show, which was cool. It was about time. :P Awesome Christmas present!
Ok, well I gotta get going. We're leaving for Öschelbronn this afternoon and I have to get ready. Ciao!

Jule

I can't think of a title for this one....

So it's 6:46am, Saturday morning, and in 1.5 hours I will be leaving for Christmas holidays. So blogging might be spastic and irregular. And the phone's unplugged, so if there's some kind of weird German message when you try to call because you forgot that I said that I'm not home for Christmas, that's why... Hope that made sense. In case I don't get another chance: have a very Merry Christmas and, as the Germans say, a good "slide" into the New Year.

Woo! No school for two weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love Jule
xoxoxo

Da hab ich so 'en Hals gekriegt....

Over the past several weeks I have discovered something very amusing. At least I find it amusing: Every German knows George Michael's "Last Christmas". And every German loves it. Come on...that's funny!!!

On to the real subject for today.

"...Und da hab ich so 'en Hals gekriegt..." Directly translated: "...And then I got such a throat..." This is a German phrase that basically means "I got really pissed off" or "I almost blew a gasket". And while you're saying that lovely German phrase you kind of make a grabbing motion at your neck, like it's getting thicker. It really suits so many situations perfectly. Especially in the teacher-world. :P You know what may be one of the most frustrating things about being a teacher? I mean, I'll have to test this out over the next 10 years or so, but one of the aspects I've found most trying is the fact that you may be standing in front of a class of 25 but only 20 are listening. 1 is half asleep, 2 are playing footsie, another is staring out the window, and the fifth is glaring at you for chaining them to the desk (metaphorically speaking, of course...Germans may be different, but not THAT different...), as if that might make me sink into the ground and melt away. Basically, there are always a few that would just rather be anywhere else than in your class - even if it meant spending the day on a tiny volcano ledge with bubbling, gurgling molten lava swirling around their feet...while dressed in 5 layers of thermal underwear and an ankle-length winter parka...which has hot water bottles in its pockets. And the reason this is so frustrating is that you spent 4 hours or more preparing the lesson that just doesn't seem to be entering their tiny little brains from any direction. I mean, pardon me for studying for 6 years, spending approximately $30,000 along the way, and trying to teach you all the things you're going to need to know in the next...oh, say... 60 or 70 years.
I mean, I understand that Christmas holidays are 2 days away and the kids just want to be done. But for goodness' sakes, THEY JUST HAD TWO WHOLE FLIPPIN WEEKS OF "AUTUMN HOLIDAYS" IN OCTOBER. How can they possibly NEED another 2 weeks? Canadian students have to slug through from September til December! And then German students get another two weeks in February ("winter holidays") plus a week and a half in April for Easter (as far as I know Jesus was only dead for three days...).

Anyways, I'm getting sidetracked...

I mean, I'm sure I have been that student. The one sitting there looking like she'd rather be dealing with a heart attack than the cross-pollination of Canada's native vegetation. But it's just so strange to be on the other side of things. And there was no "gradual crossing-over". One minute I was giving the boredom signals and the next I was receiving them. I mean, I have to say, my experiences have all been very positive. Most of the kids are great and attentive...they can be major pains in the ass...but I still enjoy them and their eagerness. But sometimes I just can't stop looking at that one kid whose head is drooping just above the handout I spent an hour piecing together...FOR THEM...NOT FOR ME...FOR THEM!

Sometimes I think it really would be better if our lives were reversed. If we started out as old people and ended up babies. That way, at the school stage, we might respect our teachers and value the wisdom and knowledge they have to share. But how can you really expect a child to understand that once they come out the other end of the educational system there are going to be a whole lot of things they'll wish they had paid attention to...a whole lot of things they'll wish they had participated in....a whole lot of things they'll wish they hadn't done to their teachers :P? How do you explain to them that one day they'll understand why their teachers are the way they are? I mean, obviously children are supposed to learn about the importance of respect, hard work, and diligence from their parents, which I think is severely lacking in many households in this day and age...I mean, I see the consequences of this every day now. But my parents raised me to understand and live out all of those concepts...yet I still never really understood what teachers go through day in and day out. Their work never ends, they have parents yelling at them for absolutely bulls*** reasons, the kids often don't care and like to see how many times per class they can mouth off and disrupt the lesson, and the teachers are given no "weapons" with which to defend themselves. Heck, in many schools in Canada you can't even FAIL a child anymore! That means we're going to have even more high school graduates than before who can't read, spell, do long division, or tell you the capital city of their own country.

*Letting out long breath*

Sorry, I had to get that off of my chest. Now I don't want you to think I'm doubting my desire to teach. I still love being here. Yesterday evening was the school Christmas concert and it was fun to see the kids (from gr. 5 - 12) excited and anxious, tentatively searching their teachers' eyes for approval...they would never admit it, but most students really do desperately want their teachers' approval. To have those that know me say hi and give me a nervous smile. And today we had a Christmas party with the grade 6 class at a bowling alley, where the girls swarmed around me to ask me where I got my rings and how many siblings I have and what my favourite music is...heck, I was even first to be picked on a bowling team :P HAHAHA. (and we won every game, by the way!!!). And while the kids were rowdy and crazy and the boys are in that AWFUL pre-pubescent stage where everything is slightly perverted and they apparently "want to get a closer look at me"... direct quote ...ew... they still get that shy look in their eyes when I talk directly to them and they all shook my hand to say "Tschüß Frau Hiebert und Frohe Weihnachten..."
I know that teaching is still the only thing I want to do with my life. I know that it'll be hard. I've always known that. I know I will get frustrated, exhausted, and probably even angry on a regular basis. It doesn't change the fact that I still love it. :D Thank goodness! And thankfully I don't build my personal self-confidence and sense of accomplishment on the opinions of 12 year olds... :P I will just keep reminding myself: I'm not here to be their friend. I'm here to help THEM become all they can be...even if they just don't comprehend that right now. And I'll do whatever it takes. Even if that means unpacking the whip every so often (...again, metaphorically speaking...)

I don't feel older...

Question: Do I look older?

Hm. Probably not. Nor do I, as my blog title says, feel older. But 22 sounds cool. So I'll stick with that for a bout 364 more days. :)

First of all a GIANT thank you to everyone who wrote cards, emailed, facebooked, called, sent letters, or gifts. I have to say, I wasn't exactly sure what this birthday would be like. I mean, away from home, by myself...that could end up being a pretty dismal birthday. Kind of like my 20th where about 20 of us spent the night at the hospital after my friend got into a car accident on the way to my birthday bash. lol. But actually this turned out to be one of the best birthdays I've had in years!

On Friday I took the bus to Leipzig where I met up with two of my very best friends, Claudia and Daniela. We hung out at the Christmas Market, ate many many many "gebrannte Mandeln" (roasted almonds with this sugary coating that really only tastes right in Germany), I found a gift for someone in Canada but I'm not saying who. I figure I have to bring so many people presents in June I may as well get started now... Um, what else? Oh ya! We stumbled into a Cuban restaurant where we had my birthday supper! It was so cool. We really had no idea what it was til we sat down at the bar and looked at the menu. Very very cool place. And kinda neat to have a menu that doesn't have french fries or burgers on the menu! lol. I had this amazing roast chicken and rice with sweet onions and it was HEAVEN! Plus I swear it was the first time I've had chicken since I left Canada. Honestly. I miss chicken...I'm gonna have to buy some chicken legs when I get back from Christmas holidays.... Hmmmm...Thanks for the idea, mom! I want to move to Cuba after Germany. And naturally our drinks had rum ...and then some more rum ... in them. I mean...come on...CUBA. Dani and Claudi also gave me my birthday present there. It's a "Schwippbogen" of the Frauenkirche in Dresden. So beautiful. And they are the traditional window Christmas decorations, so it's just perfect. My mom has a few of them, but I don't have my own. I was beyond thrilled. Then more Christmas market, a quick Starbucks run...cuz Starbucks' are scarce in this country. Gingerbread Latte. How many different ways can you say YUMMY?

Then we took the train back to my place, smoked a birthday cigarello on the way from the train station to my apartment... btw, apparently I am offically the negative influence, the rotten apple, the bad seed, the black sheep...as I have now "ruined" both Daniela and Claudia. This was Claudia's second cigarello...although you wouldn't know it from this picture where she's hacking away after some smoke made it down the wrong tube...but she had her first cigarello with me, too, so I still corrupted her. And it was Daniela's very first time with a cancer stick between her fingers.

**Just a general note: I don't smoke...I'm just a special occasion kind of smoker...

Plus Claudia still can't believe I have a tattoo. I told her that if anyone at church finds out she had a smoke with me she can just tell them about my tattoo and all attention would officially be off her... LOL! Ya, so we eventually made it to my place where we just watched a movie and crashed. And guess what folks? I even turned on the heaters for the occasion!!! I mean, come on, when I have guests I don't let them freeze. :) It was so strange to walk into a WARM room in my apartment! :P

Saturday morning lazily came around and we pigged out on breakfast. I basically hauled out all edible items in my apartment. And I didn't even do too badly, if I do say so myself - I even made eggs. Frick I am resourceful! Plus Dani had brought along mini-bottles of creme liqueur, which went STRAIGHT into our wake-up-cappucinos. Everything's allowed on your birthday. Well, it wasn't technically my birthday yet, but whatevs. We kind of coined it the birthweekend, seeing as how I really did celebrate all weekend. (Aren't you glad it wasn't a "birthweekend" in the truest sense of the word, mom :P ???)

Anyways, Claudia had to leave just before lunch so Dani and I walked her down to the train station and then went on a Döner hunt. Success! And tasty, too! Then we just bummed around all day. Did some grocery shopping, watched The Truman Show, cooked supper. Oh, and I ate the most incredible fruit that I'd never even heard of before. Dani told me I had to try it so we went out and bought a POMELO. At least, I think that's how it's spelled. Either way, it's soooooo gooooood. It kinda tastes like a cross between a grapefruit and a lemon. Which doesn't sound very good, now that I think about it. But it's not sour like a lemon. I can't describe it. Just try one. They're pretty huge fruits. Like, maybe 3 or 4 grapefruits put together. Just make sure you peel off ALL the skin...the skin is wicked bitter.


Sunday morning Daniela took the train to her boyfriend's and I was picked up by Konny and spent the day with her family. It was fun. I met her daughter, Katharina, for the first time. She's my age and is studying medicine. It was actually really nice. We get along super well and just talked all day. :)We spent the afternoon/evening in Wittenberg (you know, the city where Martin Luther did his whole 95 theses speel...which you can see on the door in the following pic). What a gorgeous city! I mean, I remembered loving it as a kid, but wow is it beautiful at Christmas!
And then Monday was my actual birthday. I spent two hours at the hairdresser (Happy Birthday to me!), finally got around to checking out the video rental store.... (only took me 3.5 months...) and he even let me rent a movie for free cuz it was my bday! lol. I mean, it's not like I was wandering around Eilenburg telling people it was my bday in hopes of getting random free stuff. I became a member at the video rental store and he needed my birthdate for some unexplained reason. When I said "December 15" he kind of paused and then looked at a calendar and was all like "That's today...". We've got a live one folks. No wait, scratch that ... he's a genius!


Um, then I got a buttload of mail and presents that I was only allowed to open until actual 15th. I mean, people even wrote it on the envelopes! Mostly the German friends. They're such sticklers out here. ESPECIALLY when it comes to birthdays. I mean, several were practically horrified that I was celebrating 2 ENTIRE DAYS BEFORE the 15th! Hold the freakng phone. SCANDALOUS! Call the Feds. Julia is about to commit a flipping birthday felony. Who says I'm not a rebel... ??? So while I'm not exactly the most patient person in the world I actually managed to not open presents until the 15th. Can I get a 'woot woot' for self-control??? I know I know... I am a shining beacon of hope in a corrupt world.


So ya... that was my weekend. Again, all the incredible birthday wishes were amazing. Yay for the Facebook reminders, hey? :P :P


Today I did my Christmas lesson twice more for the gr. 5s. Again, they all clapped when I sang. LOL! And I HAVE A COLD! Haha. I'm freaking Celine Dion. Booya. And then I made my gr. 11s watch "Little Miss Sunshine". Basically it's the last week before Christmas: I didn't feel like teaching and they didn't feel like learning. So when this feeling creeps in I just make them watch my taste in movies in English... heck, it's mildly educational...I mean, the movie was all about communication, which is still our topic in class... works for me!

:D