Um, first thing on the list. I have a project for all of you. All of you with cameras. (Shelly, I know how much you love photography...BUT THAT DOESN'T LET THE REST OF YOU OFF THE FLIPPIN' HOOK.) Anyways, one of the teachers here wants me to talk about houses. As in, appliances and rooms and just different vocab that has to do with houses. It's for a fifth grade class. And she thought it would be nice if I could talk a bit about "Canadian houses". Don't ask me what that's supposed to mean. I just nodded my head and said "sure". So anywho, now I need all of you to dust off your trusty old polaroid...wait, no, you can't upload polaroids. Ok, so dust off the digi-cam you asked for for Christmas three years ago with the best of intentions and resolutions to document your two-year old's progress ... or (for those of you without children) the growth rate of your favourite cactus, and get to work! Seriously, move it... (wait, after you've read the rest of my blog). Ok, so ya, if you could just take pics of your houses/apartments for me (inside and out) and then either post them on Facebook (and tell me that you've posted them on Facebook) or email them to me at jdhiebertAThotmailDOTcom, that would be great. Just broad shots of entire rooms and a few pics of the outside would be great. Don't worry about messy rooms or whatever. THESE ARE FIFTH GRADERS. IF THE LAYER OF DUST IS LESS THAN 12 INCHES THICK AND YOU CAN ACTUALLY SEE A SPOT OF CARPET UNDER THE HALF-FOSSILIZED LAYERS OF SMELLY SOCKS AND BABY BIBS YOU CAN CONSIDER THE ROOM CLEAN.
Ok, on to what I really wanted to blog about. German movies and tv. I know, I know, I've blogged about it so often you could practically recite it in your sleep. In German. But I just needed to get this off my chest.
1) Did you know that the Germans have a law for EVERYTHING? EVERYTHING. As in, you actually have to REGISTER your telelvisions and radios. No, I'm not kidding. Do I look like I'm laughing? Honest to goodness they have to pay a TV TAX and a RADIO TAX out here. And there are actual real human people that walk the streets and if they suspect someone is using an unregistered tv or radio they will knock on your door and try to get inside to bust you! Moral of the story is: don't let strange people into your apartment/house ... ever. ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE IN GERMANY ... AND HARBOURING A RADIO ILLEGALLY!
Seriously, the longer I'm here the more I realize how insane these people are. Which totally explains some things about me! At least now I can claim it's genetic.
2) You know what else is funny? Til Schweiger is probably the most famous German actor...writer...producer...director...and anything else that has to do with the film industry. He's basically the German Brad Pitt. And this is why:
He was married to an American supermodel for, like, 10 years. They have four kids but as far as I know they're separated now. Anywho, most of his kids have been involved in at least one of his movies at some point, too. But you know what's funny? I was checking out his career on IMDb the other day and saw that he was in the second Tomb Raider movie. So I watched the movie and looked for him. HE WAS BARELY MORE THAN A FREAKING EXTRA. He was one of the bad guy body guards with about 3 10-second appearances and maybe half a line of script dedicated to his hunky muscle-bound 'character'. (Oh ya, and most of his half a line of script and pretty boy good-looks were covered up by the loud whirring of helicopter blades and Gerard Butler's ass-kicking Irish charm...not to mention Angelina Jolie's dominatrix personality). I just found it amusing that the absolute German can't-find-a-freaking-movie-without-his-name-somewhere-in-the-credits all-star does the absolute lowest of the low scum roles in American movies. It's just funny. I mean, here's a guy who is not only an incredible piece of eye candy, but also a really decent actor. And there he is in the background of some American flick, where not a soul would ever notice him. Makes you wonder how many other really good actors out there are stuck in the crowd of extras of some Hollywood blockbuster, waiting in vain to get noticed...
3) And my last point of the day. You know, Germany turns out some INCREDIBLE films. Absolutely blows some of the American sh*** out of the water. But you know where they absolutely SUCK? SOUNDTRACKS. For some reason German tv shows and movies have the absolute worst music on the face of the blinking planet. I mean, when you watch a movie, the music should blend in. I mean, it can be noticeable in the wow-this-is-incredible-must-buy-the-soundtrack kind of way (like in Braveheart of A Good Year or Dirty Dancing or whatever). But music in German movies/tv shows never stands out in this way. It only stands out in the are-my-ears-bleeding? way. Honestly. The songs just never seem to fit the actual film. And have they never heard of that little idea called COMPOSING? As in, you can write BRAND NEW MUSIC!!! and have songs that are completely instrumental and haven't been at the top of the music charts, and hence playing on your (registered!!!) radio every two seconds, for the past 10 weeks. Seriously, they always always always choose popular radio music. It's beyond annoying. It's embarrassing! Need to invest in some serious heavy duty ear plugs and start watching German movies with captions.
4 comments:
I agree: Hollywood totally has an unfair monopoly on the movies North Americans see. A few months ago I watched "Goodbye Lenin" and another (older) German and Russian movie called "East/West" and they were both really solid films. Know what I like most about foreign films? They don't always end happily like Hollywood movies.
ya i saw goodbye lenin out here in the fall, too. amazing movie. unfortunately i think there's a lot of things north americans would not udnerstand at all about that movie. things that aren't said, just assumed. a lot of symbolism and unspoken thought, you know? especially for those who lived through it here in the east. we talked about it all after we finished watching it and it was super interesting!
i plan on keeping up on the german film industry when i'm back home. i've seen some great movies out here. barfuss, mord ist mein geschaeft liebling, die fetten jahre sind vorbei, kein ohr hasen, eisbaer. pretty much all of these are available in english, too. you just have to KNOW they're there. lol.
I've only ever seen one German movie, back when I was 15, but it was funny.
I actually recognize Til Schweiger from a number of movies. In Enemy Hands was a really good one. Driven with Sylvester Stallone, where Til played the "bad guy". (much more than an extra in that one) I'm embarassed to say I actually saw Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo and remember him in it as well.
good to know. i'd like to see him in an american role and hear his english! i'll have to remember to watch driven.
Post a Comment