Top Four

So most of you know already that I am working at my old job: the pool where I worked for two years before I left for Germany... Shall remain nameless. And if you've spent any time with me in the past few years you will have heard me tell ... let's call them 'stories' ... about some of the more ... unique experiences. Well, nothing has changed since I got back.


Here is my list of Top Four Moments from this past Saturday (by the way, basically any summer pool stories are about a certain cultural group that shall also remain nameless. They pretty much take over the pool every weekend.)


#4. I'm sitting outside, watching the splash park ... which coincidentally had no children actually splashing in it due to gaylord wind, making my day quite uneventful ... so I'm half-dozing (not really, tho) when all of a sudden I hear shrill ... and very loud ... screaming: "SPIDER SPIDER SPIDER". And a young teenage boy of formerly mentioned 'cultural group' is dancing in circles around the picnic table, flailing various limbs and breaking all sound barriers. Like the glass shattering kind of screams. Big kid. Almost macho looking. Until that moment, anyways. Maybe it doesn't sound that funny to you, but to someone who is actually scared of spiders (me) and would still never react like that, even though I'm a girl and retain all yelling and flailing rights when under insect/reptile duress, it was a very funny moment.



#3. An elderly gentleman and his (assumed) grandson were walking past me in the hallway when I stopped them to remind them that they cannot wear their shoes in the indoor facility. As they were removing said footwear the old man looks at me ... with a straight face ... and says "You do realize this is going to make my feet wet..." To which I merely responded, as calmly and coolly as possible, "You do realize ... you're at a swimming pool...???" For real I don't get some people...



#2. I was sitting at the top of the slide stairs, where it is my job to make sure people wait an appropriate amount of time to let the previous person reach the bottom. Who knew my job would also be to inform a middle-aged lady (again, of previously mentioned cultural group) that no, she, in fact, MAY NOT slide with her sandals on...

...... WHO ASKS THAT????

#1. But my favourite part of the day was when I was once again sitting outside, guarding the splash park, when suddenly a family (blah blah blah...cultural group...) asks me whether they can bring "that table over". I look in direction of pointing. See table. Past the fence of the aquatic centre. IT'S ONE OF THE PARK'S FREAKING PICNIC BENCHES. NO OF COURSE YOU CANNOT BRING IT IN HERE. But I'll admit, I was slightly tempted to say yes, just because I wanted to watch them lug that sucker to the front doors, through our lobby, through the change rooms, down the hallway, past the outdoor pool, and onto the splash park lawn out back. Um...BRILLIANT ONE FOLKS.